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    Profile photo of mums
    mums
    Keymaster

    Why Does My Husband Ignore Me?

    This one has a huge gender difference root. Men
    can sit together for hours saying nothing and
    neither feels ignored. Women generally don’t
    function this way. His threshold for “ignoring” is
    probably different from yours.
    If you’ve been married awhile it’s certainly possible
    he has started to take you for granted. This results
    in ignoring. Perhaps he’s become too busy with
    other things, thus giving you less attention than he
    should.
    Another factor can be boredom. Your relationship
    has become predictable, or minimal, or both. You no
    longer catch his attention much, so he gives you
    little attention. I’ve talked in the past about men’s
    need for adventure, and their desire to share
    adventure with their wife. Men are big on action, so
    good relationships are built around doing things,
    especially exciting and challenging things. This is
    where we put our time and energy.
    Ignoring you can also be a sign he’s unhappy with
    his life in general. It’s not you, he’s withdrawing in
    general. He puts himself into sports, video games,
    or whatever as a way of escaping his reality.
    He might also be ignoring you because he doesn’t
    know how to relate to you, or feels he “loses” when
    he interacts with you. Ignoring is a means of self-
    defence.
    Finally, he may be ignoring you because he feels
    you’re ignoring him. Or, you’re ignoring something
    he finds important. (Yes, sex is a common
    example.) If you don’t make what he cares about a
    priority, why would he make you a priority?
    Much of what I’ve said here is passive-aggressive
    behaviour; deal with something you dislike by
    ignoring it. I’m certainly not suggesting this is a
    good way to deal with things, but it’s all too common
    for men. Often we do this because we don’t know
    how to talk about it, or we think talking about it will
    result in a fight. Ignoring it thus seems like the least
    bad of several bad choices.

    Excerpts from “marriage bed”

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