Hey ladies :) just looking for some commiseration I guess.  Advice is great, though I don’t think it’s necessarily fixable.  I have 3 great step kids (14 year old Step Daughter who we have every other week, 21 year old Step Daughter who lived with us for a few months last year and with her mum, and a 24 old year Step Son who also lived with us for a few months before going to for Nysc and work, even though they’re great…well, there are things that i hate about being a Step Mum. One of the things that’s hard on me is the feeling (knowledge) that I’m kind of a second class family member.  Although I have warm relationships with my Step Kids, of course they don’t love me as much as their father or birth mum.  It’s natural that they would love their birth parents more, I totally get that.  But it’s still painful sometimes.  Especially when you’re doing the same stuff for them their parents do, but they don’t love you as much (if at all).  I feel petty even bringing this stuff up, and of course my husband doesn’t get it at all.  I’m thinking of things like being ignored on Mother’s Day, having my birthday mostly ignored when they do big things for their Birth Mum’s or my husband’s birthday, being part of conversations where all kids and husband are interested in each other’s opinions, stories, history, asking each other about them, but no one being interested in my opinions or stories or history.  I get the sense that they like me and are cool with me, but I’m just a nice person that’s around, not really part of the family.  Or at least not as important a family member as any of them.  They’re good kids and I love them, but it’s painful to feel that way.  Anyone else experience this?

P.S: I have a 6 year old son and a 2 year old girl

 

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