Why is she so stressed all the time? Rather than trying to make things better with band-aid solutions, you can get to the heart of things—and, hopefully, alleviate her stress—by identifying the root causes of her worries.
You don’t talk.
Sure, you communicate the bare necessities to each other. But when was the last time you actually had a good conversation?If all you talk about is tomorrow’s obligations or how lousy your day was, you’re probably stressing her out. Spend some time together, shut out the distractions, and actually talk.
You’re not making the changes she wants.
How many times have you discussed/argued responsibilities in the house? How many times have you pledged to do a better job of pulling your weight when it comes to chores and meals?When you’re clearly making no effort to follow through on promises you’ve made in the past, it’s no wonder she’s exasperated with you
She feels like the only parent.
Your kids have two parents, so logically you should evenly divide the labor.When the childcare falls entirely on one parent, especially when there’s a second parent present who’s slacking off, it’s bound to build resentment and stress.
She never gets to do her thing.
When was the last time you asked your wife what movie she’d like to watch or where she’d like to go for dinner? Everyone needs some TLC, and there’s a chance your wife isn’t getting as much as she used to.Make an effort to treat her right and show her how valued she is.
She needs time.
We’re all familiar with the feeling of the day just not having enough hours to get everything done. Adult life is complicated, and it’s a safe bet that your wife feels this way from time to time.You can help, though: anytime there’s a task she’s doing that you can finish off, or anytime you can help clear up her schedule, do it. She will absolutely appreciate the effort.
She needs space.
Likewise, everyone knows what it’s like to just want to shut yourself in a room and be alone. If you have kids, the constant noise can become grating and sometimes you just want a break.Just like you can make extra time for your wife, you can also create space. When the kids are acting up, take them out—and encourage her to decompress with a hot bath and a book
Your priorities aren’t straight.
Too many guys give 110 percent at the office, only to crash when they get home. If you do this, you’d better believe that your wife notices that you put in zero effort once the workday is done.When you pour your soul into your work, it affects your relationships at home. Check yourself and make sure you’re doing enough for your family.
You dominate arguments.
Disagreements are going to pop up, that’s a given. So what’s your arguing style? Do you actually listen to her, or is it your way or the highway?When a person is unable to address their concerns with a loved one, they’ll wind up bottling things up—making them unhappy and stressed.
She’s in charge of too much.
Your house and your family operate like a transit hub—there are schedules, commitments, expenses and issues to work through. Someone’s gotta run things, and chances are, it’s your wife.Don’t just be another body in the house. Be her co-captain, rather than her employee.
It’s easy to feel like you’re in a rut from time to time. You’ve felt it, and your wife probably feels it too.Communicate with her, ask her about her feelings, and help around the house. Be a good husband, because that’s what she deserves.
She’s doing everything.
Do you ever get the feeling that your wife is working her tail off while you’re just slacking off? That’s not a feeling, friend—that’s reality.Even when you’re tired or stressed yourself, pitch in around the house whenever you can. And if she wants to get something off her chest, even if she’s just venting, you owe it to her to listen.