Why Does My Husband Ignore Me?
This one has a huge gender difference root. Men
can sit together for hours saying nothing and
neither feels ignored. Women generally don’t
function this way. His threshold for “ignoring” is
probably different from yours.
If you’ve been married awhile it’s certainly possible
he has started to take you for granted. This results
in ignoring. Perhaps he’s become too busy with
other things, thus giving you less attention than he
Another factor can be boredom. Your relationship
has become predictable, or minimal, or both. You no
longer catch his attention much, so he gives you
little attention. I’ve talked in the past about men’s
need for adventure, and their desire to share
adventure with their wife. Men are big on action, so
good relationships are built around doing things,
especially exciting and challenging things. This is
where we put our time and energy.
Ignoring you can also be a sign he’s unhappy with
his life in general. It’s not you, he’s withdrawing in
general. He puts himself into sports, video games,
or whatever as a way of escaping his reality.
He might also be ignoring you because he doesn’t
know how to relate to you, or feels he “loses” when
he interacts with you. Ignoring is a means of self-
Finally, he may be ignoring you because he feels
you’re ignoring him. Or, you’re ignoring something
he finds important. (Yes, sex is a common
example.) If you don’t make what he cares about a
priority, why would he make you a priority?
Much of what I’ve said here is passive-aggressive
behaviour; deal with something you dislike by
ignoring it. I’m certainly not suggesting this is a
good way to deal with things, but it’s all too common
for men. Often we do this because we don’t know
how to talk about it, or we think talking about it will
result in a fight. Ignoring it thus seems like the least
bad of several bad choices.
Excerpts from “marriage bed”